Kyle Rolinatis is a midwestern horror/comedy author. She is the two-time recipient of the prestigious “Pleasure to Have in Class” award at Prairie Lincoln Elementary School. Kyle spent most of her life with her nose in a Stephen King book, brooding, or writing poetry and short stories. These days you can find Kyle working on her debut horror/comedy novel “Ope!” between crippling bouts of procrastination and her day job in healthcare administration. In her free time Kyle spends time with her family and too many animals in Columbus, Ohio and loves to vacation in coastal Maine. Her debut novel is set to be released in 2024 and if you follow her on Facebook or Instagram she promises to get a website started as soon as a child or teenager shows her how.
Follow Kyle on Facebook HERE.
KRAMPUSNACHT
by
Kyle Rolinatis
“You little devil children!” Lena Bentz bellowed out her front door, fist pumping, as the three boys who had just finished egging her house dropped their empty cartons and ran for their bikes. They rode as fast as they could out of that neighborhood to their own. They loved messing with Mrs. Bentz. Her heavy German accent always made them laugh and the fact she couldn’t do a thing about their shenanigans since she was house bound and, in a wheelchair, made it even better. Toby pulled one hand off his handlebar, rubbing the remnants of sticky, slimy egg white onto his jeans. He was ahead of the pack. Curtis and Michael were behind him trying to keep up. The trio felt invincible as they rode like little outlaws through the streets of Portland with the winter wind whipping through their hair.
Front Street was decorated for Christmas and the signage and blockades were up for the annual Krampusnacht festival tomorrow night. This year it was going to be extra fun. The three boys had had saved up their allowance and asked Michael’s older sister to order them their very own Krampus masks so they could really raise hell by scaring the children and adults waiting along the parade route from behind.
“Bye Michael!” Toby yelled from his bike as Michael threw up a peace sign and banked his bicycle left down his street to his house. Curtis and Toby rode on. They were next door neighbors so they both took a sharp right. Curtis rode his bike into the grass of his yard, dumped it and ran around to the back of his house to get back in his window.
“See you tomorrow, Michael!” Toby whispered loudly. “Later!” Michael replied. Toby was a still on an adrenaline high not only from egging the home of Mrs. Bentz, but also for earlier in the day giving Joey Sloan a royal ass-kicking. He snitched on them for cheating on their schoolwork and now Curtis was going to have to repeat 7th grade. Joey had it coming, Toby assured himself.
Toby went in the front door of his house. “Hey Toby, wanna watch me play?” his little brother Warren said while staring straight ahead, smiling, and furiously pounding away on the oversized video game controller in his small hand. The soldier on screen was launching RPGs with reckless abandon. Toby got a sideways grin on his face and tiptoed down the hallway toward his room. He put on the Krampus mask with the oversized rubber horns and crept back out to the living room behind Warren.
“Get in the bag!” he screamed and grabbed Warren by the shoulders. “No!” Warren threw the controller down and ran toward the TV turning around. “I was a good boy Krampus. I ain’t going with you to get ate up!” he said crying. Toby laughed hysterically peeling his mask up. His braces glistened in the glow of the TV. “You little dumbass. It’s me!” Warren ran to his room as Toby laughed to himself. Toby grabbed the controller off the floor and began launching RPGs of his own.
December 5 – Krampusnacht
“OK, parade is starting soon. Be behind the gas station at 7:30. Don’t forget your fuckin masks!” Toby typed in the group chat to Curtis and Michael. He was in the back lot throwing empty glass beer bottles someone had left behind against the bricks watching them explode. It was so cold he could see his breath coming through the mouth hole of his Krampus mask in a thin stream as he breathed heavily through the smelly, thick rubber.
Michael turned the corner and dumped his bike on the shiny glass sharded pavement. He reached up and pulled his Krampus mask down over his head “Where’s Curtis?” Michael asked in a muffled voice barely audible. “He’ll be here” Toby replied “He ain’t missin this”. In the distance the boys could hear the disjointed parade music and the shouts from the crowd as the 6 or 7 Krampuses marched through the street to cheers and screams.
At 7:45 the parade was nearly in front of the gas station. “C’mon man, Curtis must’ve got grounded or somethin” “Alright, let’s go then” Michael replied. They turned the corner to go to the front of the building there was Mrs. Bentz – in the middle of the driveway in her wheelchair with a thick crocheted afghan covering her legs. She was bundled up in a big coat and had a broad evil smile on her face. “You have been very naughty boys” Mrs. Bentz purred. Toby blew a raspberry in his mask that he immediately regretted as it blew back in his face. “I have a friend I want you to meet. I have known him for a long time” she said in her thick German accent. Toby started to move around the wheelchair. “C’mon Michael!” Toby shouted. Michael followed. A massive cloaked figure wrapped in chains appeared from behind a tree and his two large hands reached out and grabbed Toby and Michael by their throats. Toby looked up at The Krampus. He was 7 feet tall and looked very real. Toby and Michael both grabbed at his hands around their throats and The Krampus began to laugh maniacally, lifting them off the ground. The gigantic bag on his back was wriggling as the top began to open into a huge, cavernous black hole. The Krampus took Michael, throwing him over his shoulder. He landed squarely in the bag, screaming. Toby was kicking wildly as the giant with the hooved feet, large gaping mouth and giant horns lifted him. “I’ll be good” Toby screamed as The Krampus tossed him in the bag laughing. The bag quickly sealed shut.
Toby looked around and Curtis was also in the bag, limp and lifeless. They could hear The Krampus, bell ringing, as he clopped and stalked along the parade route toward his final destination - the underworld.